Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The life & times of Albert Einstein

Me & Tubby. You should know that I, too, live for rainbows.

Me & Tubby's mom, my love, Liz. At the thrift store wearing what we like to call
"Jaclyn Smith Resort Wear Collection 1989." I'm wearing this outfit today. Naturally.

These times they are a changing. I've been the worst blogger ever. I started this bad boy with only the best intentions and I failed you miserably. To use the most tired phrase of all 2011 - "winning" ...I am not.

The good news is, I have decided what to do. Well, today it's my decision. Tomorrow I could change my mind. Because it's me and hi, have we met? I'm fickle as the day is long, on a long day, sometimes. Anyway. I think I'm going to start a music Tumblr to complement this blog. And then, I'm going to start taking pictures with my fancy new Canon G12 and putting them on this blog for you to feast upon with your darling little (or big...or medium-size) eyes. I shall keep you posted on all these endeavors. No, literally, I will post about them. (See: proper use of the word literal. aka, not "Her head literally blew up!" You're welcome and thank you, David Cross.)

Now, I leave you with my recent conversations with a four-year-old:
(note: my words are in italics) 


"You look tan."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yeah. Just look at yourself!"

"Your nickname is going to be Tubby."
"No, it's little dragon."
"No, I really think Tubby is better. It's shorter, you know?" 
"No, it's little dragon."
"Alright, little dragon."
"No, wait. It's Tubby."

"What's hideous mean?"
"It means really ugly."
"Well that explains everything."

"I can point out menoras."
"What's a menora?" 
"It's this thing with a bunch of candles that go like this"
(makes "w" in the air with little fingers)
"Do you know who uses menoras? 
(silence. blank stare)
"...Jewish people!" 
"Oh! Does Ju have one?"
(Ju = our friend Julia...not a jew. So close)


And lines from adults I know: 

"Do you want this jelly bean? I think it's pickle."
"Why would I get a pickle jelly bean?"
"I don't know...you have a whole bag of them."

"Go big or go home is another phrase I made up and use sometimes."

"So last night I was huddled in my downstairs basement with my future new roomie and my dog and I ate a salad in the dark. Is that considered a new low? And, is that something worthy of tumbling about?"



Wednesday, May 25, 2011

restlessness

image found here
sometimes my entire self aches for what's next.
to know what I will know.
to feel how I will feel.
to be where I will be.

and the only solace in waiting,
is the faith that it'll be worth it once I get there.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

sweet baby



I have watched this approximately 39 times.
Her little light shines. And I love it.

Monday, May 23, 2011

the choice


via Honeyboo

snippet of a poem by sister.

I live my life with one thought in mind – -
There are two ways to say things, 
one angry and one kind.
And for each minute opinion or voice
I try to remember that I have the choice.

Though sometimes it seems that life is unfair.
I don’t have what he has or she has to share.
You have an opportunity – a small glimpse of hope
to save that wasted energy on things that matter the most.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

currently in bloom

Alaska 2009

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful that the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

little prayers


Devon & Golriz - Protect Us 

Oh Lord protect us
From what lieth
in front of
and behind us
protect us

Oh Lord protect us
from what lieth
above our heads
on our right
and on our left
below our feet

Oh God, My God
My heart's desire

duh, i'm way smart



Oh, hello. Back from hiatus. AKA I spent the weekend at another (another!) bachelorette party. This one, like some before it, was in Minneapolis and was for my lovely friend Alyssa. Let me tell you, dear friends, how much smarter I am post-this weekend - or since I posted last, which I'm sure you're thinking feels like ages and all. (right?)

Things I've learned while I was away: 
1. Queso is not your friend. Okay, I lied. Queso is your friend when you have three little spoonfulls and a handful (a handfull!) of chips. It is not your friend when you have an unexaggerated two full cups with give-or-take an entire bag of Tostitos for supper. 
2. Having six cupcakes is not the best choice. Even if they aren't huge. Even if you have them over the course of five hours. Even if you didn't eat supper. Actually, especially if you didn't eat supper. 
3. I can run six miles without stopping. For dramatic effect, please note the photo. 
4. At 25, my days of laughing at someone mooning someone else are definitely not over. And backing down from a dare - whether you're thirteen or not - is not really ever an option. 
5. Being that girl is a bad time. Taking care of that girl is slightly less of a bad time. Things that girl did included: falling off a chair, singing happy birthday to her boyfriend less like Marilyn Monroe and more like a wasteface Louis Armstrong, refusing to get in a cab because she didn't want to "be a priority" and snuck out of a bar to flirt with some sweaty Russians who were smoking outside (naturally, a great idea at any point during a night of debauchery).
6. My froworker (because there are no great words that combine friend and coworker) and his lovely wife Cora - who i bonded with instantly over loving barefeet and the fact that she's adorable - had a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations to you both :) And...sorry this message had to come after #5.
7. Apparently, doing the Bernie is a new dance craze in Sioux Center, IA. I know this because in downtown Minneapolis, some guy asked me if I knew how to do "The Bernie". I said "I have no idea, but as the ultimate Vacation With Bernie fan, I'm going to assume it goes something like this." I let my arms hang loose at my sides, tilted my head back, closed my eyes and shook my shoulders from side to side. Let the record show that this is a move I can totally get down with. 

Thursday, May 12, 2011

there's such a lot of world to see


I hope you had a day as lovely as this song. 
And if not, if it was - in fact - anything but lovely, there's always tomorrow. 
That's the best and the worst thing about life, afterall. 
It goes on. Whether you want it to or not. 

Monday, May 9, 2011

runner's high


I'm pretty sure they call it a runner's high, because if you love running, you must physically be high. That, or because if you muster up the desire to attempt running, eventually you'll require enough drugs to sedate a wooly mammoth.

Okay, listen up marathon sallies, I respect your hobby or whatever. In fact, some days I even think I might like running a little bit. All I'm saying is I ran five miles yesterday. And, like a good neighbor, my body turned into a giant a-hole somewhere around mile 4. (That is how the jingle goes, no?) Anyway, today, as I type this, I'm relatively sure my hip bones are disintegrating into piles of dust. That, or I am actually a living Barbie doll and someone just ripped my little plastic legs out of their sockets and replaced them with a set of ill-fitting - though super slimming - Skipper legs.

Either way, I fear that unlike my usual ailments, this is not the sort of thing that a box of Luden's Wild Cherry Lozenges can fix. So, basically, girlfriend is not havin' it. But if my bug can run a half marathon with barely any training...I can tough out nine miles.

Right?

home is where your mom is

one day is not enough to tell someone

how proud you are of her courage
how thankful you are for her spirit
how honored you are to learn from her
how happy you are to share with her
how lucky you are to know her
and how blessed you are to have her

as your best friend
your confidant
your rock
your biggest fan
your mom

Happy Mother's Day, Red.
You're my favorite. And you're the best thing
that ever happened to our little family.

ps. It's true, what Nik said, you really are as beautiful as a buttfly.

Friday, May 6, 2011

it's stuff like this


that gives me the biggest little happies 

ladies who lunch


Sometimes you try out a new place for lunch because you have a friend you can't get enough of. Or because you're thrifty and said friend has coupons. Or because you heard this cute new deli has delicious strawberry cupcakes the size of your face and paninis that'll make you weak in the knees.

Then, for no reason other than the fact that you can't get enough of the nifty faded camera app, you take pictures of everything with your sweet work phone. Even taking one of yourself in the bathroom at work so any and all far-away-friends can see what you look like in your natural-ish habitat. (Um, hello, we do not want friends to forget what we look like.)

And, because I like to keep you up-to-snuff on my big little adventures whether they be in lunching or other such important activities, I created this glorious - albeit slightly embarrassing - montage of photos for you to look at. But, in the words of the great Robert Zimmeruski on A Goofy Movie: "Don't give me all that attitude guys, I'm doin' it all for you."

ps. You will definitely not regret clicking that link. (If you do, we're breaking up. For surezies.)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

second-hand happiness


A coworker told me today that I'm really good at second-hand happiness. 

And you know what? That meant a lot to me. Because I really do love to celebrate other people's feel-good moments - with them and for them. I think we should all enjoy joy. Whether it's ours or someone else's. And what better way to prove it than by posting pictures from my friend Laura's wedding? 

Answer: Uh, there's no better way. (bet you didn't see that one coming)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

i've got a feeling



You know that feeling you got in high school or college when you saw your teacher at, say, the mall?  Or when you see your boss at the bar with friends? Or when you see your coach out on a date? Oh, who am I kidding, I didn't play sports. Anyway, you know what I'm talking about. That weird-ish feeling when you realize that just because you only see him/her in one place, doesn't mean they only exist there. That they actually have a life outside of the part of their world that you're a part of?

And you know that other feeling when you see someone or meet someone and you know you know them? But you can't seem figure out why, how or from where? In these cases, it usually turns out that you've forgotten for a reason. So that when you find out how you know the person, when the truth hits you like a ton of bricks, you're, like, pretty embarrassed. 

Have you ever felt both of those feelings at once? I did. Today. When I realized that the lady who looked so familiar at Yoga on Sunday was in fact...drumroll please...my gynecologist. Ummm...what was I supposed to do with that? "Hey, great form in tree pose. Sidenote, your hands are cold"? 

Because it's a Wednesday and I'm sure you were not expecting this sort of story, I'd like to thank you for taking this trip down awkward memory lane with me. The next tour will be at 5:30 at a location near you. Snacks are available in the gift shop. Feel free to take a brochure on your way out. Donations are not expected, but always appreciated. Have a nice evening, folks. 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

the power of will


Things I have the willpower to do: 
1. Down 4 econo-size bags of candy
2. Sit through a Lifetime movie marathon all weekend
3. Listen to Spice Up Your Life on repeat for an hour 
4. Polish off a six pack and a pound alone in my apartment
5. Dance in heels for four hours straight
6. Sing a terrible Karaoke song in front of someone hot
7. Recite all the lines from Superstar or Little Giants on command
8. Wear deodorant sometimes
9. Eat expired Doritos, an M&M off the floor, or ABC gum

Things I don't have the willpower to do: 
1. Drink Mountain Dew 
2. Run 9 miles in the Fargo Marathon Relay

Only one of these things have I actually committed to doing.
A) Can you guess which one and
B) What I'm trying to say is...shoot me. 


Monday, May 2, 2011

in the news


I can appreciate your reaction to the news of last night,
for whatever it is and for whatever your reasons are.

But I must say that I find it problematic when we do not choose 
the correct words to accurately describe our feelings or when we forget 
to carefully consider the implication of those reactions and react accordingly.

Mostly, I have found myself feeling incredibly disheartened 
by the reaction of my peers and my country today. 
I've described it as being too "sparklers and confetti" for me. 
And I can't explain why. But this is my offering:‎

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, 
but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. 
Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, 
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. 
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. 
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" 



wild wedding weekend: part 1




Woah, everyone. This weekend I celebrated two (yes, two!) weddings and a first holy communion. I know. It was bananas busy.

I left town for Minneapolis on Thursday morning, shamelessly stuffed my face full of McDonald's hashbrowns (more than once), laughed like there was no tomorrow and basically haven't slept since. Even though it was a constant move from one place to another, I loved every minute of it. Lucky for you I'm a real peach in the morning. And by you I mean everyone who had to come into contact with me this weekend. (With that, I'd also like to apologize for being a sass...even though it's pretty standard.)

It was wonderful to spend the weekend with family, old friends and new friends. I will be posting more pictures in the following days. But for now, just bear with these three from the groom's dinner celebrating Laura & Tyler Hille. More to come...pinky swear :)