Oh, hello. Back from hiatus. AKA I spent the weekend at another (another!) bachelorette party. This one, like some before it, was in Minneapolis and was for my lovely friend Alyssa. Let me tell you, dear friends, how much smarter I am post-this weekend - or since I posted last, which I'm sure you're thinking feels like ages and all. (right?)
Things I've learned while I was away:
1. Queso is not your friend. Okay, I lied. Queso is your friend when you have three little spoonfulls and a handful (a handfull!) of chips. It is not your friend when you have an unexaggerated two full cups with give-or-take an entire bag of Tostitos for supper.
2. Having six cupcakes is not the best choice. Even if they aren't huge. Even if you have them over the course of five hours. Even if you didn't eat supper. Actually, especially if you didn't eat supper.
3. I can run six miles without stopping. For dramatic effect, please note the photo.
4. At 25, my days of laughing at someone mooning someone else are definitely not over. And backing down from a dare - whether you're thirteen or not - is not really ever an option.
5. Being that girl is a bad time. Taking care of that girl is slightly less of a bad time. Things that girl did included: falling off a chair, singing happy birthday to her boyfriend less like Marilyn Monroe and more like a wasteface Louis Armstrong, refusing to get in a cab because she didn't want to "be a priority" and snuck out of a bar to flirt with some sweaty Russians who were smoking outside (naturally, a great idea at any point during a night of debauchery).
6. My froworker (because there are no great words that combine friend and coworker) and his lovely wife Cora - who i bonded with instantly over loving barefeet and the fact that she's adorable - had a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations to you both :) And...sorry this message had to come after #5.
7. Apparently, doing the Bernie is a new dance craze in Sioux Center, IA. I know this because in downtown Minneapolis, some guy asked me if I knew how to do "The Bernie". I said "I have no idea, but as the ultimate Vacation With Bernie fan, I'm going to assume it goes something like this." I let my arms hang loose at my sides, tilted my head back, closed my eyes and shook my shoulders from side to side. Let the record show that this is a move I can totally get down with.
6. My froworker (because there are no great words that combine friend and coworker) and his lovely wife Cora - who i bonded with instantly over loving barefeet and the fact that she's adorable - had a beautiful baby boy. Congratulations to you both :) And...sorry this message had to come after #5.
7. Apparently, doing the Bernie is a new dance craze in Sioux Center, IA. I know this because in downtown Minneapolis, some guy asked me if I knew how to do "The Bernie". I said "I have no idea, but as the ultimate Vacation With Bernie fan, I'm going to assume it goes something like this." I let my arms hang loose at my sides, tilted my head back, closed my eyes and shook my shoulders from side to side. Let the record show that this is a move I can totally get down with.
froworker = genius word!!
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